This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
third nipple confirmed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
