Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the condom got lost in my hair
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Drake has all the answers
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
