If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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