I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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