Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My pussy is not your playground.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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