I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
