dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The struggles of a small town man whore
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
