Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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