3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
