that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
