I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
