I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
