Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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