yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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