I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
