bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
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Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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