My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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