I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize