Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
