It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
