If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Text me some of your sweat
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
