I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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