He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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