i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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