If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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