You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
