she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
