i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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