they need to just BURY HIM!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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