he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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