best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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