You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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