Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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