I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
