so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
