when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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