The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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