So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Mom said you looked used
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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