The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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