so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
