You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need to calm my uterus...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
