Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
