You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Im part way to drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
