My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
