some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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