Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
