You can't special order awesome
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Im part way to drunk.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
