there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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