You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
