Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
