my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
