if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
