He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
