I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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