You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
do nipples grow back?
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