Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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