if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
