Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
